When “Persuasion” fails to persuade

Dakota Johnson’s Anne breaks the fourth wall in a mediocre reboot. (Photo: IMDB)

A quick disclaimer: I have not read “Persuasion” in full. I tried to when I was 12 but soon realized that I lacked the patience and attention span for classics. Sue me.

But I greatly appreciate the adaptability of Jane Austen’s work. Austen was a writer far ahead of her time in her wit and embrace of the unconventional (for Regency times) woman. Unlike several classics, I feel her work presents themes that never get old, even after centuries. The push-and-pull of two unlikely protagonists. The crowd-favorite enemies-to-lovers trope. The yearning that all that tension births. Truly delightful.

“Persuasion” centers on Anne Elliot who was engaged to a fearless but penniless Captain Wentworth but called it off due to her family’s disapproval. Seven years later, Captain Wentworth returns as a highly decorated and rich naval officer and Anne’s family is on the brink of financial ruin. He and Anne cross paths and begin a long tale to rediscover and rekindle their love.

Considered the last Austen novel, “Persuasion” was published posthumously on December 20, 1817. In terms of popular adaptations, it is greatly outshined by “Pride and Prejudice” and “Emma” but many laud it as the most compelling of Austen’s work for its maturity and theme of a second chance at love.

Netflix’s 2022 adaptation of “Persuasion” tries to ride on the success of “Bridgerton” but misses the mark thanks to its cringy dialogue that’s simply too far off its time.

All the way or not at all

Anne Elliot, faced with the man she loves after seven years and his anger at their canceled engagement, is distraught but must carry a calm exterior for the sake of her vain father and older sister. It is this tension of social expectation and personal grief that makes Anne’s story so compelling for many readers.

Unfortunately for Dakota Johnson, Anne Elliot is not a performance she can rest her laurels on. She was described as “an anti-heroine in empire waist clothing,” unlikeable and bland. And it’s not at all helped by the dialogue, terribly out of place in a film supposedly set in the 1800s.

She makes references to being single and thriving. She shoots off quotes like “He’s a 10. I never trust a 10.” and “Now we’re strangers. No, worse than strangers. We’re exes.” (The original line is “Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. It was a perpetual estrangement” by the way.)

The Regency era and its norms characterize Austen women and their problems. To water that context down to one-liners better off for social media captions kills the appeal of Austen and mocks the audience.

If director Carrie Cracknell wanted to modernize “Persuasion,” there are ways to do so. Many classics have been adapted into recent pop culture and to great success. Look no further than 1996 teen classic "Clueless," which takes inspiration from Austen’s “Emma.” The iconic “10 Things I Hate About You” is based on Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew.”

These films take the literary sensibilities of material you’d encounter in English class and bring them to life in today’s world. How? Commitment. They go all the way to create a new story that draws from these classic themes but still gives this new work its own voice.

Cracknell’s “Persuasion” takes the Regency period’s aesthetic, sprinkles in a handful of Instagram-inspired lines, and somehow expects it to fly smoothly.

All agony, no hope

This new “Persuasion” is what you get if you gave someone the Sparknotes version of the book and told them to write a script made for Instagram captions. The critical response has been dismal, described from “vaguely mortifying” to “torture.” 

“Calling this project Persuasion, proffering an outright adaptation, means, at best, running the risk of falling far short of the author’s intelligence, and at worst, suffering the ire of overprotective, mewling Austen-heads,” said K. Austin Collins for Rolling Stone.

Vox describes Anne as a “heroine of a mid-tier ’90s rom-com, weeping in the bathtub, weeping into copious amounts of red wine, weeping as she pratfalls into accidentally pouring gravy over her head.” As of writing, the movie is rated 31% on Rotten Tomatoes.

To quote the film itself (maybe in a meager act of self-awareness), “Jane would be ashamed.” Sorry, Carrie Cracknell. You will never be “Bridgerton.”