How safe are safe spaces?
A safe space for some, but a hostile one to others. (Image: Instinct Magazine)
Last week, “Nectar” trended on Twitter after a commotion occurred at a gay nightclub of the same name. A woman in a viral video disrupted the club’s drag show, and then was attacked by the host.
The woman was filmed climbing up onto the stage, where she interrupted the performing drag queen. The host reacted by cursing at her, kicking her, and pushing her offstage. “Your money means shit; this is our safe space,” he said.
As the video spread online, so did the story behind it. A now-deleted post said that the woman was making a scene even prior to the drag show, and that she allegedly pulled down a drag influencer’s dress, almost exposing their chest.
But a TikTok thread was later on created by the woman’s friend, containing an explanation of her disruptive behavior. She shared that her friend was made to go on the drag show stage by someone else. She also added that sometime after the video was taken, the host went to their table to hit her again.
“Oo, si girl ang may mali, pero hindi naman ibig sabihin noon na mamimisikal ka.”
(”Yes, it was the girl in the wrong, but that doesn’t mean you should get physical.”)
With that, authorities were called to the scene, to whom the host explained that he co-founded the nightclub and that the club was his safe space.
On Saturday, Nectar posted a statement to announce that they do not condone violence and that they will be terminating their existing business with the host. Considering the amount of “haha” reactions and critical comments the post received, it didn’t look good.
Nightlife violence
The incident also sparked accusations of misogyny, elitism, and sexual violence in the nightclub, which could be genuinely frustrating for queer people and women looking for a club that they can have a good time in without their safety being compromised.
Assaults around bars and clubs in particular can be commonly motivated by biases including sexual orientation, race, and other labels. A poll from 2017 found that 79% of women stated that they feared offensive remarks, contact, or actions while out.
Though cases of violence in public spaces dropped in 2020 due to lockdown restrictions, a study based in England and Wales saw that a concerning rise started to occur as restrictions were eased. There are no numbers yet for the Philippines, but it’s definitely possible for cases to go up; a woman was very clearly assaulted on video last week—at a “safe space” nonetheless.
Violence in numbers
The fact remains that the personal space of one or more people was violated in the incident. Sadly, cases of violence aren’t new to women and the LGBTQ+ community, especially in the nightlife scene.
Violence against women was a top concern of one in four people amid the pandemic. In the last year alone, 17,968 women aged 15-49 in the country have experienced various forms of violence, including both sexual and physical. As of this February, 12,492 cases of violence and abuse toward women were reported to the Philippine National Police, with 8,399 records on physical injuries. And that doesn’t even include the numerous cases that go unreported.
Violence against members of the LGBTQ+ community isn’t uncommon, either. A human rights report on the Philippines for 2021 found there were multiple incidents of discrimination and abuse against LGBTQ+ individuals, including a rape-slay of a transgender man. Other reports cite more attacks across the country.
Meanwhile, male abuse is on the rise too. Incidences of it can be found in around 12 to 15 out of every 100 couples in the country, according to an advocate against domestic abuse. Some of them may not even recognize the abuse they experience due to gender roles that expect them to be “stronger” than their abusers.
"Safe space for me, not for thee"
Awareness about these issues is a good place to start, according to this study’s findings. With protective mechanisms in place such as the Bawal Bastos Law and the SOGIE bill that’s still being fought for in Congress, the law can hopefully uphold all people’s rights. But higher compliance to them also depends on people’s attitudes and level of awareness towards them.
Discourse on these issues must acknowledge the root causes of sex and gender-based violence, which this study suggests is a male superiority complex for the cases of female survivors. Whether or not that applies to the host who attacked the woman, it’s still important to remember that people don’t live single-issue lives.
Why are women and the LGBTQ+ community playing a game of oppression olympics that lead to drunken bar assaults, anyway? If a “safe space” is exclusive only to people of a certain community, then it’s not really as safe as they’d like to believe. There’s a lot of room for collaboration to protect each other instead, and it looks like there’s a long way to go.
