Down with the Wife Guy

It seems even the most devoted men will cheat on you. (Photo: KnowYourMeme)

Ned Fulmer of internet sensation The Try Guys admitted to cheating on his wife Ariel whom he’s been married to for over a decade. Fulmer allegedly cheated on Ariel with one of the producers of The Try Guys, Alex Herring. The Try Guys announced that Fulmer will no longer be working with them moving forward.

The Try Guys—Fulmer, Keith Habersberger, Zach Kornfeld, and Eugene Lee Yang—were among the most popular creators from Buzzfeed in the early 2010s. They won viewers over with their hilarious group dynamic and willingness to try anything from labor pain simulators to drag and therapy.

Early on, Fulmer became known as “the wife guy.” He would lovingly bring Ariel up in videos and, on some occasions, be absent from filming for date nights. He seemed like the ideal husband. As the Try Guys fame grew, Ned and Ariel’s relationship became a frequent topic, even sharing news of their kids’ births with their viewers.

So imagine the stunned look on fans’ faces (myself included) when the rumor mill churned out and eventually confirmed Ned’s cheating scandal. Not Mr. “My Wife” himself!

Sadly, Fulmer is just one of the many “Wife Guys” who’ve been swept up in troubles in perceived paradise. Musicians Jay-Z and Adam Levine, comedian John Mulaney, and Jason Marvin Hernandez, ex-husband of Moira dela Torre, are some familiar names for knowing audiences.

All hail the wife's guy

To be a Wife Guy, it’s not enough to be married to a woman. No, a Wife Guy is “a man whose fame or branding is largely predicated on the fact that he’s in love with the woman he married,” according to Scaachi Koul of Buzzfeed News. These are men who are head over heels in love with their wives, blessed by their presence and grace. Their wives make them who they are.

“To be a Wife Guy is to put your wife on a pedestal so preposterously high that she stops being a person altogether,” writes Koul. 

Mulaney worked with and dedicated “The Comeback Kid,” a stand-up special, to his then-wife Anna Marie Tendler with whom he called marriage “magical.” Adam Levine cheered on Behati Prinsloo on the Victoria’s Secret runway in 2013, and featured her and their child in Maroon 5’s Girls Like You video.

Profiting off their relationships isn’t far off for Wife Guys. Apart from their regular monetized content, The Try Guys have a second channel that posted video compilations of the Fulmers. Mulaney’s comedy specials are housed on Netflix which helped fuel his social media clout with memes about his marriage.

Whether they realize it or not, for many Wife Guys, their wives are their partners in sickness and in health, for richer and hopefully richer.

The internet's husband

Wife Guy probably sits at the same table as the “simp” and “golden retriever boyfriend” as descriptions of men in relationships. The common trait: men being outwardly affectionate to their partners.

(Read also: Why Can’t Men Say ‘I Love You’ to Each Other?)

With no thanks to the media, we’ve gotten used to men who treat their loved ones poorly, refusing to show affection out of fear of emasculation. We’re used to the “red flags” that the bare minimum—like loving your wife—seems novel. And the more that these relationships become public, a parasocial bond with the audience might take hold.

I’ve grown attached to couples I know purely from the internet. When John and Anna announced their divorce (and everything else that followed), I was so upset, I stopped watching his specials—which I memorized chunks of. I felt duped, bought into the mirage of “Wife Guy Adores And Loves His Wife And Would Never Do Her Wrong.”

A common line uttered whenever beloved relationships are hit with scandal is “I don’t believe in love anymore!” as if we had a personal stake in the union. If Jay-Z can cheat on Beyoncé (BEYONCÉ!), what’s stopping some regular guy? If these “ideal couples” can fall apart, these “ideal men” can cheat on their gorgeous, adoring, and seemingly flawless wives, what about us mere mortals?

I think it comes down to this: In the human search for love and in the time of constant consumption, we default to the media for ideals to seek after. But we will never truly know what happens when the cameras cut and the lights go down.